Mom’s Day Out

I recently enjoyed my very first day away from my 21 month old son. Last summer I had hoped to get a weekend away but I also did not expect him to still be nursing. In the fall of 2011 I did spend about 5 hours away but that was the longest we had ever been apart until this past weekend. When I left him for that 5 hour stretch I was worried about him and how my husband would cope, this time I was all “Peace out suckers!”

That morning I woke up before the baby, excited as if it were Christmas morning.  Once he got up, I changed his diaper (my husband usually handles the first diaper change if he is home) and nursed him for as long as he wanted. That turned out to be about 15 minutes which is half as long as our normal first feed.   He had breakfast and I got ready. Then I offered him some boob and he nursed for a really short period of time much to my surprise.  Yo Gabba Gabba was on, Orion was mesmerized in his little chair, and I ran out of the house around 8:45 as if I was on fire.

I jumped into our cute little impractical Fiat 500, turned the seat warmers on, scraped the frost from my window and got my CD selection together.  I was ready for the 2 hour drive to Richmond to meet up with a girlfriend (who has a 10 month old) and see the Chihuly exhibit (awesome!), enjoy a leisurely lunch, and some shopping.  If you saw anyone bombing down 95 south in the left land on Saturday with a huge shit eating grin on their face, it was probably me.  It just felt good to be driving the fun car and not the mom car (Scion XB which I do love) and listen to my music (not children’s music) as loudly as I wanted.   

As we walked around Carytown, I noticed some stroller parking signs and was so happy that it was not currently applicable.  I was able to go into a vintage shop without fear of grubby little hands destroying lovely expensive things. I could stop in every store if I wanted without worrying about a small man’s behavior or needs. Yes, I did have a milk box, peanut butter sandwich, and veggie chips in the car but they were in case I got hungry.

I was in the mood for big sloppy burgers so we walked down to Carytown burgers and fries. I would have been impossible to order a burger there while navigating a stroller, the place was super packed when we got there around 12:15. My girlfriend and I both ordered the Kojack with guacamole, fires, and a beer. I rarely ever drink while the sun is out but this was a celebration and I enjoyed 2 beers without worry of getting my baby drunk on my boob juice. How nice to not have to rush through a meal and to be able to eat my food while it’s still hot instead of feeding Orion.

Someday I look forward to taking Orion to all sorts of museums but he is at the age now where if he can’t touch it and run around he is not interested.  The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts was crowed which usually drives me insane but I was in such a good mood and just happy to see people out supporting art and enjoying Chihuly’s wonderful glasswork.  We were able to take our time meandering through the museum and exhibit up to a point as I did have a 2 hour drive home and one could spend all day in that museum. At 4, we chatted over a hot cup of coffee without fear of it burning fresh baby flesh. Then it was time to go even though we did not get to talk as much as we wanted or see everything there was to see.

For the first time all day, I began to get nervous while driving home. How are my boys doing? What if I get a speeding ticket, or get into an accident or the car breaks down.  I played out each of these scenarios in my head. When I got near Fredericksburg, a light flurry of snow began to fall and most drivers in Virginia are clueless about driving in snow so there was always a slow down if we were driving downhill.  I was running a bit late so I called Patrick when I was about 30 minutes from home to let him know where I was.  I got home around 7pm and was very surprised to find that everything was perfectly fine

I walked in the house and Orion came running over to the babygate with a small toy mouse in each hand. He really wanted to show me his mice but the TV was on so he soon returned to his chair to finish watching his program. I was able to have a civilized conversation with my husband, tell him about my day, and show him the cute things I purchased. Then I asked Orion if he wanted to nurse. There was no reply until I turned off the TV and he was all “when did those boobs get here?”.   I nursed him and he was asleep in no time and slept through the night.

I was expecting to walk in the door to an upset crying baby and a husband at the end of his rope. Orion would run over to me, claw at my shirt and nurse for hours and be up a few times in the night. I was so happy to be wrong. That day we had 3 nursing sessions and nursed for just over an hour.  Since then he has nursed 7 times a day for 3-4 hours per day. This supports my theory that if I want to wean him I will need to leave him.  Working full time is starting to look pretty good. Now I just need to find a job that will pay me enough to cover the cost of daycare or even better has daycare available. Meh, I would rather be with my baby even if he loves my boobs more than me.

I made Patrick tell me all about their day together repeatedly so I could imagine it all in my head.  Patrick was also surprised by how well Orion did without me all day long. Orion napped in the car, then they went to the indoor playground. Keeping busy and having snacks is important to keep Orion happy.  But if there are boobs, he will want them and I have a hard time saying no but we are working on it.  Maybe in another 21 months I will be able to have a night away.  I hope it doesn't take that long but maybe once a month I can have a day away. I came back refreshed and excited to see my baby, I recommend it highly for every mom!          

Inside the Diaper Bag

 My recent post about diaper bags got me thinking about what we put in our diaper bags and our purses.  It reminded me of that scene in The Breakfast Club when Ally Sheedydumps out her purse.  “Because you never know when you have to jam.”  I love the "always be prepared" Girl Scout motto and how can a girl be prepared without a bag?  I remember meeting a guy, years ago, who always had tampons in his backpack just in case someone needed them.  I would never think to ask a guy for tampons but he was always prepared for anything.  It is amazing to think of all the things we think we need to take with us when we leave the house.  So what do I usually have in my purse or diaper bag?

The obvious things like my wallet, prescription sunglasses which have a gigantic case, a pack of tissues, cell phone (because I often do not have pockets), 3 reusable shopping bags, and a camera.  

In case of a hunger emergency, I have a protein bar which has been knocking around in the bottom of my bag for months, not very appetizing.  Desperate times do require desperate measures and thankfully we have yet to reach that point.   

I keep ginger mints on hand to freshen breath and fight nausea and tums for heartburn.  

I keep a few disposable nipple pads in my purse but I really do not need them any more as I am beyond the leaky boob days even though I am still nursing.  

Sunblock is a necessity when you are as white as I am so I have a tube of baby sunblock and a sunblock stick in my purse.  If it works for my baby we can all use it but what works for us usually isn't good for babies so it is easier to keep baby friendly sunblock in my bag instead of a few different kinds.  

My big fat coupon folder has coupons of course but also a little notebook and a pen.  I only have this in my bag if I plan to go shopping because it takes up too much real estate.  

The most important thing in my purse is my chapstick.  I must have chapstick within reach at all times.  I got tired of searching for that small tube in my big purse.  My solution was a small pouch in which I keep a Burt’s bee’s chapstick, one of their lip shimmers, and a lip gloss.  

Taking up the most space is my cloth diaper bag which always has hand sanitizer, a changing pad, a bag of biodegradable rose scented plastic bags, a GroVia all in one, a cloth wipe, disposable wipes, and then I add a few diapers or snap in inserts.

The second massive real estate suck is a plastic ziplock bag which holds pacifier wipes (Orion has never used a pacifier but it comes in handy for dropped toys), a bib, burp cloth, nursing cover, a clean shirt and pants for baby.  These items do not get much use these days (but I could have used them yesterday when I was getting the baby out of the car to go into the supermarket and he spit up water all over his car seat).   These items will soon be living in the car.  After all, my car is really just a gigantic purse on wheels.  I already keep emergency diapers in the car and will add this emergency pack to that bag.  I have been keeping the diapers (with the changing pad from my JJ Cole diaper bag) in a Nordstrom plastic bag but maybe it is time to put it all in a real bag.

Often, I do not feel like carrying anything when I leave the house.  For a quick trip I just can’t be bothered to bring along reinforcements.    I usually regret it because I do not have my chapstick and usually forget my cell phone.  Chapstick does NOT keep well in the car.  Too often I have reached for my car chapstick only to apply a hot melty mess to my lips.  Yuck!  But still, I leave the house with nothing but my husband and my baby.  Amazingly, my baby, my lips, and I all survive.  I rely on my husband to have his wallet and the car keys.  Luckily he has never let me down.  So what's in your purse/diaper bag?     

Roadtrip tips

Here are some of my tips for traveling by car with babies. Of course, make sure the carseat is properly installed and that the baby is secure in the seat. Also note the expiration date on the carseat, these things are not built to last forever. And never buy a used carseat or buy a seat from Craigslist. You cannot be sure the seat was never in an accident. A carseat is not something you want to cheap out on buying.

•Fill up the gas tank when the baby is awake. Know how much gas you will need. Fill up if the baby is awake but your gas tank is not yet empty but you will need more gas eventually.

•Make sure the baby is well feed before you hit the road. The chaos of Grandpop’s birthday caused me to forget to feed Orion his sweet potato puree. I think this added to his subsequent breakdown a half hour from home.

•A clean diaper is a happy diaper. At home I use cloth diapers and change his diaper every 1 ½-2 hours. On the road, I use disposable diapers (we like Pampers) so I won’t have to stop as often to change dirty diapers. I also think he is more comfortable in a disposable diaper for long car trips as they are less bulky.

•Have some baby friendly music on hand. Sometimes we listen to the classical station but there are a few lullaby albums that we love as a family. Mumford & Sons Inspired Lullabies by Lullapalooza has worked like magic on many occasions. Rockabye Baby Lullaby Rendition of The Cure is also a standard. I want their Nirvana, Tool, and Radiohead albums for myself. I also downloaded 50 Greatest Baby Lullabies by Lullabye Baby Ensemble which has a nice variety and you can play guess what song this is.

•Have a favorite toy for baby to amuse themselves with. I get motion sickness very easily and cannot sit in the backseat. I have tried to sit in the backseat and soothe the baby when he is freaking out but that has only work 5% of the time. When baby wants to be held and fed, nothing else will do.

•If baby is awake, talk, sing, laugh, and be silly. When we had our 4 hour drive up to PA when Orion was 6 weeks old, I talked so much I thought my head would explode.

•Keep baby comfortable, not too cold and not too hot. Also protect them from direct sunlight.

•If you have to stop, pull over where it is safe and well lit. Ideally that would be a rest stop or gas station.

•Stay calm. If the baby cries, it won’t kill him. I did not learn this lesson until Orion was 6 months old and we left him with my mother-in-law while Patrick and I had dinner down the street with friends. When we came back Orion was happy so I assumed that everything had gone well. Then I was informed he cried for close to an hour after we had left. But he survived and still loved me and would not be scarred for life and end up on intervention because I left him for 90 minutes.

Traveling with babies is not an easy task so try to simplify as much as possible. If you forget something, chances are you will be able to pick it up when you reach your destination or you may forget that it was even forgotten.

Big Day Out

This past Saturday we celebrated my maternal Grandfather's 90th birthday. We were determined to attend this event despite the 6 hours we would spend in the car and the forecast for snow. I grew up in Philadelphia and will always call the city of brotherly love my hometown. We moved to Northern Virginia 4 years ago and I try to get up to Philly a few times a year to visit friends and family. Since having the baby, visiting has become more difficult. My mother passed away in 2005 and my father passed away when Orion was just six weeks old. Since losing both my parents I find it more important than ever to maintain ties to our extended family.

I thought we would leave around 1:30 or 2 as the party started at 5 and the journey takes about 3 hours. When I conferred with Patrick at 10:20, he suggested 11 or noon. I said fat chance on getting me out the door in 40 minutes. So I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and put my face on. I do not wear makeup very often but for family events and special occasions I take this extra step. But honestly, I never feel like I know what I am doing. I am just playing with my crayons. When it comes to eye makeup, I feel I have it down thanks to the diagram on the package. My chapstick addiction makes lipstick a bit more difficult. Also I hate the smell and taste of most lipsticks. When it comes to foundation, I am really clueless as my skin is so fair and pink. At the end of makeup play time, my husband deemed me presentable for public display. One day I may have to test him and see if he would let me out of the house looking like a hot mess.

Being a stay at home mom, I don't have many opportunities to get dressed up. Some days I never leave the house or get out of my pajamas. There was a time when I was really in to fashion and sometimes I miss getting dolled up. So I wasn't going to let a long ass car ride prevent me from wearing something nice. I never had a doubt as to what I was going to wear. But once I got in the car and sat down I started to think that a high waisted skirt and Spanx may not have been the best choice. It was too late to turn back. The words of my mother, "beauty is pain" rung in my ears.

We hit the road around noon and even though there was some snow on the roads, they were not as bad as we had anticipated. We hit the rest stop in Delaware just north of the Maryland boarder. Orion had been sleeping up to this point and I had to resist the “oh shit he is awake, must put my boob in his mouth” urge. Our first road trip was a 4 hour drive up to Gilbertsville, PA when my father died. Orion did a good job sleeping on the road but lost his shit in the final 20 minutes. When we got to my Aunts, lil' man was a hot sweaty mess. When he was 9 months old, we made the 10 hour trek to Michigan to visit my in-laws. He slept like a champ but once again couldn't stand to be in the car for another second once we were a half hour from our destination.

When Orion cries in the car, I shut down and it used to really pain my boobs. When you are so close to your destination, there is really no point in stopping, getting him out of the carseat, nurse him up, and put him back in the seat. He will just cry some more when he gets put back into the seat. Thanks to child safety laws you can no longer hold a baby in a moving car. This is a good thing, but not something you can explain to an upset baby.

True to form, Orion spent the last 15 minutes of the journey fussing. Getting off 95 at Broad Street, I was excited for Orion to be in Philadelphia. He would not remember this trip but I was driving through my past with my present and future snuggled in the car. We parked in Center City as the bell tolled 3. We had time to kill, so we visited a friend and enjoyed one of my favorite Philly treats. No, not a cheesesteak (they are way too hyped up), not a soft pretzel (this is a food item I wish would catch on like the cheesesteak), but Capogiro gelato.

http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/top-10/ice-cream-parlors/

Best place on earth to eat ice cream! I have been a fan of theirs since they opened and visit whenever I can. We have even flug (mailed in husband speak) some to relatives and have been meaning to do the same for myself. I love their Rosemary Honey Goat Milk flavor, but I digress. After gelato and another trip up to our friend’s apartment to nurse up the baby, we were back on the road.

We made it to the party in Germantown at 5. Orion spent the 45 minutes car ride sleeping but woke up once we arrived. I had only told an Uncle and one cousin I was coming as I wanted it to be a surprise. My mother was one of nine, and those nine had 32, and now my grandfather has 21 great grandchildren. When we get together it is very overwhelming as there are so many of us. Saying hello and goodbye takes forever. It was great to see everyone for such a happy event and well worth the trip.

We headed for home around 8:30 despite the many offers from various relatives to spend the night at their house. We didn’t want to haul all the stuff necessary when traveling with a baby for just one night. Plus, our 2 little dogs at home need caring for and we love our dog sitter but 2 visits are way cheaper than 4 or 5. This would also give us Sunday at home to decompress.

It had started to snow and was hella windy. The roads didn’t seem that bad but people were driving like morons. When we stopped to get gas in Maryland, some asshole was trying to merge on to 95 going 35 miles per hour. The stop for gas had woken up the baby and he started to cry. We were only 30 minutes from home and I just wanted to get there. The whole thing made me want to pull my hair out.

We got home around 11:30 and I was ready to rip off my Spanx and peel off my face. I got more comfortable while Patrick took care of the baby and got him ready for bed. Sadly, bed would not come anytime soon. It was after 2 a.m. when I got to sleep and I think I had to bring Orion into the bed with us but it is hard for me to remember. Sunday was a day spent in my jammies not leaving the house. In the afternoon, Orion and I took a nap together and after he woke up I was able to pass him off to Patrick. This allowed me to double my total naptime, score one for the momma.

Was it worth it? Yes, yes it was. I was happy to celebrate my Grandfather's long illustrious life. Coming up next will be a few tips I have learned for traveling with babies.