Mom’s Day Out

I recently enjoyed my very first day away from my 21 month old son. Last summer I had hoped to get a weekend away but I also did not expect him to still be nursing. In the fall of 2011 I did spend about 5 hours away but that was the longest we had ever been apart until this past weekend. When I left him for that 5 hour stretch I was worried about him and how my husband would cope, this time I was all “Peace out suckers!”

That morning I woke up before the baby, excited as if it were Christmas morning.  Once he got up, I changed his diaper (my husband usually handles the first diaper change if he is home) and nursed him for as long as he wanted. That turned out to be about 15 minutes which is half as long as our normal first feed.   He had breakfast and I got ready. Then I offered him some boob and he nursed for a really short period of time much to my surprise.  Yo Gabba Gabba was on, Orion was mesmerized in his little chair, and I ran out of the house around 8:45 as if I was on fire.

I jumped into our cute little impractical Fiat 500, turned the seat warmers on, scraped the frost from my window and got my CD selection together.  I was ready for the 2 hour drive to Richmond to meet up with a girlfriend (who has a 10 month old) and see the Chihuly exhibit (awesome!), enjoy a leisurely lunch, and some shopping.  If you saw anyone bombing down 95 south in the left land on Saturday with a huge shit eating grin on their face, it was probably me.  It just felt good to be driving the fun car and not the mom car (Scion XB which I do love) and listen to my music (not children’s music) as loudly as I wanted.   

As we walked around Carytown, I noticed some stroller parking signs and was so happy that it was not currently applicable.  I was able to go into a vintage shop without fear of grubby little hands destroying lovely expensive things. I could stop in every store if I wanted without worrying about a small man’s behavior or needs. Yes, I did have a milk box, peanut butter sandwich, and veggie chips in the car but they were in case I got hungry.

I was in the mood for big sloppy burgers so we walked down to Carytown burgers and fries. I would have been impossible to order a burger there while navigating a stroller, the place was super packed when we got there around 12:15. My girlfriend and I both ordered the Kojack with guacamole, fires, and a beer. I rarely ever drink while the sun is out but this was a celebration and I enjoyed 2 beers without worry of getting my baby drunk on my boob juice. How nice to not have to rush through a meal and to be able to eat my food while it’s still hot instead of feeding Orion.

Someday I look forward to taking Orion to all sorts of museums but he is at the age now where if he can’t touch it and run around he is not interested.  The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts was crowed which usually drives me insane but I was in such a good mood and just happy to see people out supporting art and enjoying Chihuly’s wonderful glasswork.  We were able to take our time meandering through the museum and exhibit up to a point as I did have a 2 hour drive home and one could spend all day in that museum. At 4, we chatted over a hot cup of coffee without fear of it burning fresh baby flesh. Then it was time to go even though we did not get to talk as much as we wanted or see everything there was to see.

For the first time all day, I began to get nervous while driving home. How are my boys doing? What if I get a speeding ticket, or get into an accident or the car breaks down.  I played out each of these scenarios in my head. When I got near Fredericksburg, a light flurry of snow began to fall and most drivers in Virginia are clueless about driving in snow so there was always a slow down if we were driving downhill.  I was running a bit late so I called Patrick when I was about 30 minutes from home to let him know where I was.  I got home around 7pm and was very surprised to find that everything was perfectly fine

I walked in the house and Orion came running over to the babygate with a small toy mouse in each hand. He really wanted to show me his mice but the TV was on so he soon returned to his chair to finish watching his program. I was able to have a civilized conversation with my husband, tell him about my day, and show him the cute things I purchased. Then I asked Orion if he wanted to nurse. There was no reply until I turned off the TV and he was all “when did those boobs get here?”.   I nursed him and he was asleep in no time and slept through the night.

I was expecting to walk in the door to an upset crying baby and a husband at the end of his rope. Orion would run over to me, claw at my shirt and nurse for hours and be up a few times in the night. I was so happy to be wrong. That day we had 3 nursing sessions and nursed for just over an hour.  Since then he has nursed 7 times a day for 3-4 hours per day. This supports my theory that if I want to wean him I will need to leave him.  Working full time is starting to look pretty good. Now I just need to find a job that will pay me enough to cover the cost of daycare or even better has daycare available. Meh, I would rather be with my baby even if he loves my boobs more than me.

I made Patrick tell me all about their day together repeatedly so I could imagine it all in my head.  Patrick was also surprised by how well Orion did without me all day long. Orion napped in the car, then they went to the indoor playground. Keeping busy and having snacks is important to keep Orion happy.  But if there are boobs, he will want them and I have a hard time saying no but we are working on it.  Maybe in another 21 months I will be able to have a night away.  I hope it doesn't take that long but maybe once a month I can have a day away. I came back refreshed and excited to see my baby, I recommend it highly for every mom!          

Mom's night out

Woot, mom’s night out! I was really excited to stick my husband with a super fussy baby but as luck would have it I was able to get Orion to bed by 6:30.  I have a very lucky husband.  I had a night out and he had a night off.  For the first time, I wasn’t even worried about the baby or my husband or my husband dealing with the baby.  I was totally like “I am out and I will be back when I get back, peace!” 

I threw on some lipstick, a real bra and footwear other than flip flops, so fancy!  I drive our little Fiat 500 thumping M.I.A. but wishing I had Santogold.  I felt so liberated, I wanted to go dancing but settled for dancing in the car.  I get to the theater and meet up with 3 other moms to see Magic Mike.  It was a super nice theater with huge seats and you didn’t need to fight for a piece of the arm rest.  The floor was wood and not nasty sticky carpet, I wouldn’t feel bad about letting my baby crawl around on those floors.

The movie was fun.  My favorite was Big Dick Richie and not because the obvious or because he is an enormous muscled man, which does help.  But because the first time we see him he is behind a sewing machine working on a gold thong, wearing thick black glasses.  The movie also made me feel old because (SPOLIER) once drugs came into play I knew it would be the downfall.  We enjoy the movie with abandon, hooting and hollering but director StevenSoderbergh  (yeah, right, I was surprised before I saw this movie that he was the director this was far from Ocean's 11 or Erin Brockovich) was really great at cutting just when things started to heat up.   

  

After the movie, we walked up the street to grab some drinks.  I enjoy 2 (2!) cucumber/cilantro gimlets which were very yummy.  I am sure we would have sat there longer chatting, dishing, and getting to know each other if last call hadn’t been at 11.  We are planning to get crazy at a real strip club one of these nights. I am going to start saving my dollar bills in a jar label thong money.

I got home around 11:15 (big night!) and my husband was in bed and the baby (I know he is no longer a baby but a 15 month old toddler, he will always be my baby much like every dog to me is a puppy, until it is too embarrassing for him) was still asleep.  The house did not fall apart without me for 4 ½ hours! Orion woke up around 4am for about 45 minutes and we both slept till about 8am.

You hear it said that it is important for moms to make time for themselves. But it is more important for moms to allow themselves to enjoy that time.  There have been a few other occasions when I got out of the house for a few hours for me time but spent so much of that time stressing and worrying about the baby and that the baby was driving my husband crazy.  It is so seldom that I get me time, that when I do, I will never again let worry spoil it for me.

I only wish the weekends were longer so I could have a day and my husband could have a day and we could still take care of all the other things which usually fill up a weekend.  I do think that weeknights will start to get easier with Orion going to bed earlier and sleeping through the night.  I can have a mom night out on a week night and Patrick has his dad’s night out.  It really is important for us to get out, talk with other moms/dads and have fun.  I am really thankful that we have found such a great group of people to enjoy these times with.

It took me 9 months to get out of the house and go to a mom group and I am so glad I did.  Every Friday we get together for a playdate, it keeps Orion busy and me.  We have both made some good friends and Patrick is now getting to know some of the dads.  How cool would it be if Orion was making friends in this group that he will have for years!  And I get to watch all these other little babies grow up which is really special.

I encourage all you mom’s out there to join a mom group!  Find one you like and that fits your schedule. You and your baby can make friends, get out of the house, and your baby will sleep so well after he is all tuckered out from playtime.  Then you can have a mom’s night out and hopefully the dads can get it together for a dad’s night out.  It really is good for the whole family!

WTEWYE/BYBM Review

Yes, I was that mom at the mommy & me showing of What to Expect When Your Expecting who was letting her baby crawl all over the theater.  Yes, I do know how dirty the floor of a movie theater is because I worked in a few movie theaters.  Also, I saw the knees of my baby’s jeans and how black and yucky there were which was no comparison to the grossness of his little red booties.  I did feel really dirty after the movie during my drive home and couldn’t wait to give the baby and myself a good scrubbing.

Do I regret letting my baby crawl wild over dirty, sticky, disgusting floors?  Not at all!  Orion did not get sick or eat anything off the dirty floor even though he did try.  He was able to crawl and play and I was able to watch the movie.  Orion is obsessed with steps right now and really wanted to crawl up and down the theater steps.  We have one step in the house which goes into the laundry room.  If he can get to that step, he will go down it then turn around, go up it, and repeat.  It was also nice that we knew a bunch of the moms & babies in the theater so he got to visit with some friends. 

Would I do it again?  Maybe not.  If Orion was an immobile baby who only slept and ate, sure I would be there.  I spent a lot of time chasing after him and at one point everything went a little black and I got a bit dizzy.  I guess my blood pressure had a sudden drop as I do have notoriously low blood pressure.  Orion seemed to have fun and slept for over an hour after the movie.  But he was really cranky and tired the rest of the day.  Not sure if it had anything to do with the movie or if he is going through something.  I got bedtime started an hour early, he was in his crib around 7 but woke up at 2.  He was in our bed until 6:30.  I tried to put him back in his crib at 4:30 but he wasn’t having it and wanted my arm as his pillow.

I do think it was great to be in a movie theater with my baby and not have to worry about him being too loud.  The theater was pretty full and there were a lot of strollers but it wasn’t crowded.  Many baby made noise but it never got out of control.  Orion liked to visit the moms who were sitting in the row in front of us and they did not mind.  I did try to prevent him from hitting them on the head which was mostly successful.  I also did not have to worry about flashing a nipple.  I no longer use a cover when I am nursing because Orion likes to use it as a flag and wave it around which distracts him from eating.  Also, it can get hot holding your baby and wearing a cover. 

How was the movie?  I really enjoyed the movie, I laughed and I almost cried.  They say you are emotional when you’re pregnant but I am way more emotional now than I ever was before baby.  I think they may have added some jello to my insides during my C-section.  This was not an action packed, hard to follow movie.  It did not have subtitles and the plot was pretty easy to follow and a bit predictable.  This is why it was a good movie to watch in the theater while chasing a baby.  I didn’t miss a thing and it was fun.  I loved the scenes with the Dad Pack and Elizabeth Banks was my favorite of the females leads.  I laughed out loud a few times and totally teared up during the (SPOIL ALERT) miscarriage scene and the adoption scene.  I would even watch it again on Netflix and force my husband to watch it with me. 

This is a monthly thing going down on the first Tuesdays of the month brought to you by thebump.com and AMC theaters.  Find a theater near you that participates check Bring Your Baby Matinees.  Tickets are 10$ and I bought my own ticket so don’t start thinking I got fancy and that actually anyone reads this.  Just keep in mind that after the movie there will be a lot of woman wanting to get into the family restroom to change their babies dirty diaper.  Try to find one on the other side of the movie theater mega complex.